Crazy is the norm

Your room remains the same Jack. Its like every day I'm waiting for you to come back. I always meant to mail out cards with your pic and thank you notes to those few that sent us cards but I didn't. Somehow it makes all of this seem to real, maybe one of these days I'll be able too. I keep your urn close in your bassinet, sometimes I put your urn in the swing or on your change table and I never go out without it. Its very portable, a perfect little heart just like I wish you would have had. Sometimes I convince myself that your will to live was so strong that you will come back to me. That you will find a way. No matter what my beliefs I still hope. Maybe because you put up such a fight to live I think if anyone could do it you could. I even wrote a poem

 Jack come back
I ask you every night and day
I know the nothingness cant make you stay
you were special with a will to live that was so strong
so I wait for you my baby; hopefully not to long
there is nothing that could dissuade me
as I know in my heart that Jack Wilbee
yes Jack Wilbee
come back to Mummy

 I know silly Mummy, silly like Jack but I'll never stop asking anyway.

ps thank you for the flowers that you Daddy and Baby Squirt got me for Mothers Day. They are beautiful. Daddy is being so strong like you. He is my rock and he would make you sooo proud.  I miss your tongue, your hair and your silliness. I love you piglet. Mummy and Jack Forever