The Before People

Our landlord called yesterday and asked if we would show our condo. We were hesitant but being that he was working in Vancouver we said sure. What a kick in the teeth as we opened the door and it was a young couple pregnant with their first child. They were due in September. As they looked around they noticed all the baby pics and Jacks stuff stored in his nursery- all packed up. They asked "oh do you have a baby?" Ugh, they were nice and like most people don't fathom what pics and packed up baby stuffy means. Codie had to say that we did and he passed away. I almost broke down right there but manged to hold it in till they left. All I kept thinking was don't scare the pregnant lady but it was too late. I'm sure thoughts like that hadn't dawned on her and now confronted by it I'm sure that's all she was thinking about after they left. Those thoughts had never crossed our minds as we were that happy couple last year looking for a place last August. Those our now very painful memories. I also oddly kept thinking; who is going to rent this place now with such tragedy surrounding it? Bad karma, I guess you would say. I severely doubt that young couple will. Yet at the same time I am not going to hide it. I will probably not take down Jack's pics till the day before we move and its obvious when you look around there is no baby here now.  Its weird how you want to hide these things from strangers because its just so awkward and yet at the same time you want to shout the world about your child's life and how much they mattered. There is no avoiding that excruciating pause of silence when these issues come up in face to face confrontations. There is also no avoiding the "before people", that's what I call the happy expecting couples and others who have not gone through loss. They were us, once upon a time in a fairytale. Needless to say the rest of the day I spent crying .
I miss you baby, Jack and Mummy forever