I HOPE

 I am sitting here all dressed up and ready to go, I'll be leaving soon for my first night at our fundraiser. This green hair spray paint itches. I hope it doesn't run in the rain. Yes its pouring out of course. Holy crap I am so nervous. I have been having these terrible nightmares all week of standing out front looking off forlornly into the dark and empty night with the sad realization that no one has or will be showing up. I guess because of my family I have a real lack of faith in humanity now. I ask myself -Am I ready for this? Have I been setting myself up for yet again another let down? I hope not. Sometimes life has seemed like one huge disappointment after another from loosing Jack, to lack of support, hell sometimes I am even disappointed with the blog.  I think why did I even start this nobody gives a crap. Can you tell how nervous I am? -eek.I'll post pics next week  and info on how it went and what we raised. I hope it all turns out okay, I hope. I love you baby, I miss you. Jack and Mummy forever