Your First Birthday: OCT 4th 2011

Tomorrow is your first birthday Jack. I can imagine how amazing it would have been. I see kids everywhere and tons of presents. I see you opening your gifts with Mummy's help and being more preoccupied with the box it came in. I see you eating chocolate cake, or rather wearing it all over your face with big chunks of icing caught up in your long red golden hair. I see the wheels turning in your head that start with that mischievous grin as you think of what endeavour of trouble you can get into next. I see that smile spread as you figure it out and from your highchair drop a big pile of chocolate cake on your cat. I hear that squealing laugh that lets me know you are so pleased with your accomplishments. I see you loving life as much as we love you.

Reality sinks in. Daddy and I will have a cake for you and light a candle. It will be quiet, there will be no gifts, there will be no you. Its seems so sad that any parent should ever have to celebrate their child's birthday in such a way. We will love, honour and remember you as we do every second of everyday. We will hope that somewhere someone else is doing the same. What matters most baby is that your birth changed our lives. For the time that you were here you brightened our lives like a shining star. You were, are and always will be the most amazing thing that ever happened to us. My baby; we love and miss you so much.

 I will say today as I will also say tomorrow. Happy Birthday Jack, my love, my MR, my piglet, my everything. Mummy, Daddy and Jack forever