Jack,
We are watching tv and every so often my heart flutters, anxiety is gripping it with intensity. Jan 4th is coming. Your surgery is almost here. I am so worried something is going to wrong, everything is going to go wrong, fear floods my body.
Where did the time go? It went into the past . My mind knows this but my heart does not. I am instantaneously both in the past and the present. Worrying , worrying for what has already come to pass. Soon the worst time of my life will begin even though it has ended or has it?. My heart flutters, it wont let me forget. I am so anxious,so nervous. D day is coming again and again.
I am still scared for you baby. Jack and Mummy forever
18 hours ago
7 comments:
Sounds like the beginning of January will be hard for the both of us. Will be thinking about you.
Michelle,
I am so sorry that you have to relive those horrible anxious moments. I have the same feeling everytime I see or hear an ambulance. I relive that horroble day that I had to follow the ambulance to the hospital. Even though I can't guarantee that that anxety will ever go away, I do beleive that some day our heart and our mind will be on the same page.
Thinking of you always,
Marisa
Oh Michelle I understand what you are feeling right now. I will think of you and send you all the positive energy that I have on January 4th. What surgery are you having? I had 2 hysteroscopies in 2009 to remove a tumor growing next to one of my tubes and last month I had my first treatment of IVF. I don't know anyone personally who suffers infertility, not anyone who has lost a baby either.. if I can help you in any way at all, I am here. I will be going through my 2nd IVF try in February. I understand how scary it is, how it brings back moments that caused the most pain we've ever endured. I am thinking of you and hoping so much for you Michelle.
x
I'm sorry I misunderstood. I can't imagine Michelle. I'm thinking of you and your darling Jack today and will think of you both on January 4th.
x
That's ok Tash, I really hope your next IFV is successful.xo
ANXIETY.....the hardest time of the year.......quardrupled!! Mother's never stop worrying....try to hold on to the HAPPY TIMES lil one.... so much easier said than done. You are in my heart & thoughts always....Love you Michelle....xoxo
I am so sad for you. I wish I could send you some peace of mind but I know this journey is just so hard.
The past and the present and the future, they are all wrapped up in it and it is hard to seperate it all.
Love to you and your little Jack. I will be thinking of you both as I always do.
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