The most important thing is that we heard good fortune for our baby boy. Yes a boy! There were no markers they could tell from the ultrasound and his heart looks good. What a day though. When Codie was called into the ultrasound room he unwittingly carried in a giant slurpee and when he heard the news it just slipped right from his hands; drop and "POP"! The plastic container shattered everywhere and bits of slush and ice splattered the room like a little bomb going off. Codie is standing there stunned like a child with the "I done bad look" he blurted out "oops".We had cleaned it up and they were very nice about it, I think they took in the fact of our prior history and knew we wouldn't be behaving quite normal. What is that for parents like us?
We then went to the genetics doc and had good fortune there as well as we do not carry the familial gene for Down Syndrome. All of it did carry mixed emotions with us- we so wanted a child like our amazing Jack but at the same time that just carries to many health risks and so we were relieved as well. The doc said the heart should turn out fine when we have our echo exam at the end of the month. She believes that no indication of Down Syndrome will mean no heart problems, but I will worry just the same. I will never fully believe anything a doc has to say anymore, they sound confident and sure of themselves but deep down they will never know anything for sure as life and death is a roll of the dice.
It was weird going back there again and we ran into several docs in the hall that had worked on Jack. We of course exchanged the common fake pleasantries that afterward always make us feel like such hypocrites and quickly moved on. I wanted to visit nurse Jan but Codie had had enough and didn't want to run into anymore docs or go to that part of the hospital that is all to familiar to us. We were done and he wanted to get out so bad it was like a lightening bolt kept hitting him in the ass to make him walk as fast as he could.
We get out and decide to take a nice a drive through the back country down old roads to see the beautiful scenery and cool off. We still don't know everyhting about BC and haven't seen much as we came straight from Ontario and then the shit hit the fan I guess you would say. This is where the mayhem comes in. Both my babies as I had Jack with us too in his urn have now become illegal borders jumpers. Bad babies! LOL
We were driving around seeing the mountains and the sandy beaches when we came across this old road, there should have been signs but there weren't. There was an old fence that was partially down and Codie and I thought what they hell lets see where it goes. It looked like such beautiful scenery down that road and we took the temptation. We turned onto it and drove around the dilapidated partially down fence. Half way down we realized the road signs had changed, they went from kilometres to miles per hour. UH OH. When it dawned on us I started freaking out OMG Codie We are in the United States and I don't have a passport!!!
We quickly pulled a u turn and were on our way back to the way we came in. Again another big OMG from me. When we got there they put the fence back up. They must have been a working crew in the midst of fixing it. I assume when we happened upon it they were all on lunch or break. So here we are stuck in the United States and having to drive until we reached the customs entrance back into Canada. I was so freaked out thinking I didn't have my passport, I had Jack and what if they wanted to take him apart and look inside his urn. Were we going to be allowed back into our own country? Were we going to be sent to jail?
When we drove up to the customs lady we nervously explained the whole story, she said that actually happens frequently. Part of Point Roberts even though being part of the states is on our side and still divided by water from the rest of the states. You can accidentally get into Point Roberts sometimes although only if you go through a fenced barred off area "OOPs AGAIN" but there is no access from Point Roberts to the rest of the states without going through a customs checkpoint. She accepted my license but also sent us for what I had feared a search of our belongings and vehicle. I was so worried about what they would do to Jack in his urn.
It didn't take to long they searched our phones, chided us of course for not knowing the area and searched Codie's pockets. Then came my purse. I started to remove all the items and the big, brutish, trying real hard to portray an authoritative, I'm in charge customs agent says sternly " I'll do that". He started taking everything out and reached down to grab the bundle of blankets inside. I don't know what came over me with such force and vehemence and a look of pure steel with a raised threatening voice I said to this six foot brute 'DONT TOUCH MY BABY!" I swear it was like a powerful volt of electricity had hit him full force as he jumped back and put his hand up in the air in a hands off gesture. He quickly regained his composure and said "your what?" He then let me gently take Jack out of my purse and unwrap his swathing so he could see what was inside. When his eyes fell upon the urn he had a look of fear and horror on his face, for all his "tough guy" portrayal in the end he was just an innocent. He diverted his eyes like the urn was some kind of disease you would get if you looked at it, the uncomfort quivered in his voice as he said" you can put that away now". He then said his search was done, took a few steps back like I was the plague and told me to go directly to the office to meet my waiting husband.
It's not like they think in the movies or tv and I am always amazed how so many people when faced with the real reality of death, even six foot authoritative brutes are reduced to just a giant mass of fear and apprehension. Those that haven't been touched by it have this horror struck look of realization as they comprehend that death is real and happens to real people not just some movie or some far and away news tragedy that will never touch their life.
We left in relief, and after yet another shake up drove straight home. What a day full of joy, sadness, excitement,fear and pretty much every emotion you can think of.
I would like to give my boy a name but Codie suddenly isn't sure if that's the name he wants. So while he thinks some more about it, I guess he will just be baby boy for now. We had never entertained the idea of ever having to give another child a name. With Jack we we knew, I knew, long before he was conceived who he was and what his name would be.
I hope you had a fun ride yesterday my babies. I miss you so much my everything, Jack and Mummy forever.
2 days ago